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This Just In: Giant Beast Gingerly Eats Dandelions. More at 11.
I know this beast could fuck my entire shit up and break all my bones, but i want to kiss its soft head so bad
One reason bison are so good at fucking people's shit up? That hump. It's not fat, like you might assume - it's pure damn muscle and bone.
Here's Ernie, the taxidermy bison mount at the Flint Hills Discovery Center in Kansas. Take a look at the inside of that hump!
If you remember in the giraffe neck post, I talked about how the spikes of bone that come off the backs of vertebrae are called spinous processes, and they're muscle attachment spots. (All animals have them because it's where a lot of spine muscles attach - when you run your fingers down someone's spine and feel bumps, you're feeling the much smaller human versions). The rule for muscles attachment sites is: the bigger the piece of bone that anchors it, the bigger the muscle. So those huge spikes of bone inside a bison's hump are the anchor points for absolutely monstrously sized neck/shoulder muscles.
Bison need these huge-ass neck muscles because they search for grass in the winter by shoving snow out of the way with their very large, heavy heads. It's quite literally a built-in suspension system for a meat-based snowplow.
According to at least one reputable source I found, the muscles in the hump also help the bison hold their head up when they run. (This tracks with analogous anatomy on other mammals, but I can't find a diagram of exactly what muscles attach where for bison to confirm it.)
All of this means that they can swing their heads with an enormous amount of force. That's part of why people who make bad life choices about harassing bison in national parks often get so hurt - they're not just dealing with a very angry, very large animal with very sharp horns, but one whose offensive capacity is backed by a huge heavy head and propelled by a truly extraordinary mass of muscle.
When there is no conflict, thought, that massive neck just supports their head while they daintily eat dandelions.
“goku would be able to beat saitama” “saitama would be able to beat goku” if goku and saitama met goku would mistake him for krillin because he’s bald and saitama would go holy shit its goku because he’s a dragon ball fan
people think "adult jokes" in kids shows are just sexual jokes failing to realize that sokka telling toph "you have to work here for longer if you want to qualify for vacation time" is the funniest thing i've ever heard. i don't think the southern water tribe even HAS that kind of economy
this whole scene has me reeling now but I don't think I understood a single part of it as a kid
autistic people of a particular flavour will master the art of expressing mundane sentiment in amusing ways because their most successful jokes as children were primarily accidental. and when you realise you have that spark of a weirdo it's just a matter of intentionality and comic linguistic optimisation to make yourself a regular sayer of things in funny ways.
Maybe you're just hot?
I mean it helps also
